In my book, it’s always a good sign when I’m watching a movie and I say out loud, “Why was that guy just walking around with a bazooka?” This moment happens in the climax of PROGRAMMED TO KILL, and more than sums up this charmingly slapdash bit of forgotten ’80s sci-fi action hokum.
Let’s get this disclaimer out of the way right up top. As a jingoistic American action movie shot in 1986 and released in 1987, PROGRAMMED TO KILL is almost legally obligated to open with a scene of Arab terrorists doing something horrible and bloody to explain why they need to later be dispatched with extreme prejudice by heroic American mercenaries. Younger viewers will immediately grasp how problematic that aspect of the film is, but as an older connoisseur of ’80s right wing propaganda disguised as harmless action movies…I can now see how problematic that aspect of the film is. Thankfully, the flick is more interested in high-concept ideas on a low budget than indulging in xenophobic, Reagan-era clichés. After the first act, most of the racial/cultural/political cringe-worthy moments of the opening are forgotten and the movie settles into a surprisingly watchable rip off of THE TERMINATOR.
Following the opening terrorist attack and the kidnapping of two American children in Crete, CIA operative Eric Mathews (Robert Ginty) leads a team of commandos in a raid on the terrorist’s Beirut hideout. While Hassim (Arnon Zadok), the leader of the terrorist cell escapes; all of his underlings are killed with the exception of his girlfriend/trusted lieutenant Samira (Sandahl Bergman). Injured in the attack, she is taken captive by Matthews, who is also severely wounded during the raid.
Cut to a Los Angeles hospital where Mathews is recovering. Eager to question Samira, he is told by one of his many CIA supervisors (seriously, for a mercenary, Mathews reports to a lot of different bureaucrats in the course of ninety minutes) that she has died and that he is being taken off the case. In reality, creepy government doctor Brock (James Booth) has implanted computer circuitry in Samira’s brain to wipe out her memory and turn her into a controlled assassin that he plans to send back to Beirut to kill Hassim. This plan works like clockwork until Samira completes her mission and her memories come flooding back. Armed with the knowledge of what has been done to her, Samira returns to Los Angeles with revenge on her mind.
From that plot description, it should come as no surprise that PROGRAMMED TO KILL is a cheeseball flick with barely a cybernetic enhanced brain in its head. And thank the exploitation movie gods for that. If director Allan Holzman and writer Robert Short (who is also credited with directing “additional scenes”) had more time or money to flesh out the characters or provide exposition, the movie would not move as fast or be as much fun.
Sacrificing coherence for pace just adds entertainment value to scenes where it is suddenly revealed that Samira’s body has healing powers which allow her to reattach her severed hand in twenty seconds or Mathews manages the improbable crack shot of hitting the gas tank on a Jeep while driving at a high speed. I don’t need or want to know how either incident happened, I just want to enjoy the lunacy and watch that Jeep blow sky high.
Not everything in the movie is entertainment by unintentional humor. Nearly lost in the mess is how well the role of Samira is a showcase for the striking physicality of Bergman. A dancer-turned-actress best known for stealing scenes as Arnold Schwarzenegger’s equally badass love interest in CONAN THE BARBARIAN, Bergman worked steadily through the ’80s and ’90s in the indie genre world, but never quite broke through into the mainstream. While Samira is clearly not a role that asks her to stretch emotionally, Bergman does a good job of giving the physical impression of an unstoppable killing machine (without the benefit of any competent special effects) and snags the only intentional laughs in the movie with her deadpan reaction shots.
The highest compliment I can pay PROGRAMMED TO KILL is that it feels like it should be a Golan-Globus production. In another timeline, you could swap out Ginty, Bergman, and Holzman/Short for Michael Dudikoff, Lucinda Dickey, and Sam Firstenberg and possibly have an even more entertaining time. At the very least, you might have a slightly higher budget to afford sets where the walls didn’t shake when doors are slammed and maybe have two random extras running around with bazookas instead of just one. I guess that version of the movie will have to exist only in my dreams.
Tags: Action Film, Allan Holzman, Anniversaries, Arnon Zadok, Chuck Hicks, James Booth, paul walker, Programmed to Kill, Robert Ginty, Robert Short, sandahl bergman, Sci-Fi, The 1980s, The Terminator
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