FAST X is the cinematic equivalent of a conference call, a film that scatters its increasingly unwieldy cast into a half-dozen subplots unfolding in different parts of the globe, leading you to wonder if the core “family” here spent more than one day on set together. Despite a 141-minute runtime, the plot is thinner than ever: after 15 minutes of continuity throat-clearing and platitudes about family and legacy, it’s essentially two hours of everyone racing to meet at a rendezvous point after latest bad guy Dante Reyes (Jason Momoa) frames the gang with a terrorist attack that runs them afoul of authorities, including the very agency they’ve been helping for several movies now. Plot contrivances and retcons are more strained than ever, as various flashbacks insist that multiple newcomers here have always been around. The once-quippy dialogue — even the ball-breaking stuff between Ludacris and Tyrese — is dull and corny, suggesting these characters no longer have anything to say to each other, much less to the audience. It feels very much like the tenth entry in a long-running series that lost its way a few movies back.
And yet, I hooted, hollered, and cackled at a lot of it: at this point, the FAST series hasn’t just jumped the shark—it’s gone into orbit and circled the entire ocean, quite literally. If the space exploits of the previous entry didn’t make the franchise’s self-awareness abundantly clear, FAST X confirms it with an entire scene dedicated to two characters acknowledging the absurd trajectory of Dom’s crew: once street-racers who moonlighted as highway hijackers, they became international superheroes, turning enemies into family every step of the way. If you’re still among the audience at this point, you’ve likely similarly been charmed: nothing — not the ludicrous plots, not the physics-defying stunts, not the sneaking suspicion that it’s firmly in its flop sweat era — is really a bridge too far. You just have to accept this is what the series is now because it’s obvious that Vin Diesel and company have an absolute conviction that these movies mean something.
Admittedly, I’m not entirely sure what that something is at this point, but I do know that FAST X appeals to the exact intersection of my brain that craves the nonsense logic of professional wrestling and the absurd continuity of the SAW franchise. Most franchises thrive on escalation, and THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS is no exception. What is exceptional is just how unmoored from reality it’s become, and the appeal here isn’t necessarily about how they’ll outdo the previous spectacle. In fact, at this point, the spectacle just feels like white noise, a flurry of weightless, digital “stunts,” whirling camerawork, and choppy editing. Somehow, they’ve run THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS so thoroughly into the ground that the car stuff is just a formality, a (ahem) vehicle for the sprawling, soap-operatic plot that has somehow grown more compelling as each film’s plots have grown thinner. This, especially, is where the franchise operates on the same wavelength as professional wrestling, an arena where the physical, in-ring combat often plays second fiddle to the other theatrics:, the heel/face turns, the larger-than-life personalities, the surprising returns.
FAST X has plenty of all this: in keeping with franchise tradition, former enemies Jakob (John Cena) and Cipher (Charlize Theron) become allies. The former makes sense — he’s just embracing the face turn he made in the previous entry by protecting his nephew (and Dom’s son), Little B (Leo Abelo Perry). Frankly, Cipher’s makes less sense: after spending two movies tormenting Dom and his family, she doesn’t ally with a guy who also wants to do the same thing, choosing instead to spurn his offer and show up at Dom’s door to warn him after Reyes takes control of her men and her resources. Whatever — I suppose these shifting allegiances are even more inevitable than gravity in a series that refuses to obey the laws of physics. It’s like Sting joining the nWo Wolfpac after spending two years being their greatest adversary: no, it doesn’t really make sense, but it makes for a great moment. FAST X operates on the same logic, as Cipher’s unlikely alliance with Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) mostly exists to set up a climactic, shocking return that also doesn’t make a lot of sense. Then again, who needs sense when you have family?
Embodying this chaotic approach is Momoa’s Dante Reyes, the self-proclaimed devil himself, who’s out to avenge the death of his father Hernan (Joaquim de Almeida) back in FAST FIVE. His old man once told him to “never accept death when suffering is owed,” so he’s not just out to take an eye for an eye. He wants Dom to lose everything first: his legacy, his reputation, his money, and, most importantly, his son. Don’t let the menacing posturing fool you into believing he’s just another po-faced, snarling villain, though, because Momoa is playing the Joker. And not just any Joker: he’s a dandy, mustache-twirling dandy Joker and the dirtbag Joker Jared Leto thought he was playing in SUICIDE SQUAD all at once. He prances in and out of the film, literally orchestrating chaos and acting as his own Youtuber Greek Chorus that provides a running commentary on how awesome his destruction is. At one point, he manicures and holds conversations with a trio of rotting corpses in what may be the most bizarre sequence in the entire FAST franchise.
This late in the game, Momoa’s impish, anarchic presence is exactly the shock to the system this franchise needs. Ever since Paul Walker’s death, these films have been spinning their wheels, riffing on the international spy movie formula that peaked with his final appearance in FURIOUS 7, and all of the star power (Charlize Theron! Helen Mirren! Michael Rooker! Bad Bunny! John Cena!) hasn’t been able to compensate. And while the Walker-sized hole is as glaring as ever here (Brian is perpetually “off with the kids”), Momoa’s spirited performance provides a more effective distraction than previous efforts. He’s probably the franchise’s best villain yet, which is no small feat considering the rogues gallery has featured the likes of Cole Hauser, Sonny Chiba, Luke Evans, Jason Statham, and Theron.
Fortunately, he’ll be back — FAST X is just the first of three final entries for the franchise. If nothing else, I admire the sheer audacity of a series that’s committed to running until the final fumes are exhausted. You can’t even say these movies are a shell of their former selves, if only because their former selves are entirely different movies altogether, an approach that’s made THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS oddly resilient. It’s entered a zone where anything goes, where things that were once thought impossible — like the appearance of a certain actor during this film’s mid-credits sequence — are very possible, and the incredibly crooked path these films have taken have become part of its appeal, if not its very mythology. THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS has become something of a Rorschach test: depending on how you look at it, it’s either a testament to Vin Diesel’s dogged, kind of endearing dedication to a project he’s dedicated nearly 25 years to, or it’s a monument to a Hollywood sausage factory that cynically grinds out franchise slop.
I can’t begrudge either interpretation, and FAST X splits the difference. Its cliffhanger ending and sequel teases are a product of the perpetual motion machine mentality that insists everything has to be part of a bigger puzzle, a notion the FAST series helped to popularize alongside Marvel. Nothing can ever end, and even alleged conclusions must unfold over the course of a trilogy, making X something of a prelude instead of a complete story. An even more cynical eye would see this unnatural prolonging as a shameless cash grab, and the languid approach to FAST X does little to disavow you of the notion. Incoming director Louis Leterrier was a last-minute replacement for Justin Lin (who still receives a producing and screenwriting credit) and doesn’t do much to shake the notion that we’ve been down this road before. It has its moments: the first big action sequence reimagines the famous opening scene from RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, only the giant boulder is a flaming time bomb barrelling through the streets of Rome; Cena plows through a small militia in the family home, slamming a guy through three floors in the process; a drag race in Rio de Janeiro briefly brings the franchise back to its roots.
The only problem is that there’s not much momentum to any of it. FAST X unfolds with all the purpose and verve of someone clicking between browser tabs or, better yet, Zoom breakout rooms, with each cast group checking in periodically as the film lurches towards a theoretically perilous climax that finds Dante terrorizing Dom’s 8-year-old kid. However, the nature of this franchise — where nobody ever stays dead — means none of it feels truly dangerous, nor is there anything here that suggests we’re on any kind of path to finality. If anything, FAST X blatantly resets the board by reintroducing a couple of major pieces, no doubt setting the stage for a movie that will ultimately feature every single FAST AND FURIOUS character that can feasibly appear.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to that, though. For all its wheel-spinning, FAST X crucially maintains this franchise’s steadfast belief in itself. Maybe that complete and utter conviction is what these movies are about. Vin Diesel can grunt about family (or even wheel in Rita Moreno as the Toretto matriarch and have her give the same Corona-toasted speech we’ve heard before) as much as he wants, but the FAST franchise is mostly about the absurd lengths they’ll go to keep making THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS movies. In a landscape where many sequels and franchises have gone the legacy and “requel” route, this one insists that every messy bit of its convoluted mythology matters. A series that once extolled the gearhead zen virtue of living life a quarter-mile at a time practically needs a roadmap to navigate its various twists and turns. The lore boasts a breadth and depth typically reserved for fantasy novels or sprawling comic book arcs, and it’s built up too much goodwill during the past two decades to completely dismiss it, even as its latest entries have left some of our more fond memories in the dust. It’s probably no coincidence that one of the few genuinely affecting moments in FAST X involves Dom wistfully looking at pictures in his garage, giving the audience a chance to stroll down memory lane and feel the weight of all these years — there might not be much gravity to this series, but there is gravitas when it’s allowed to slow down. Here’s hoping the end of the road has a few more pit stops along the way.
Tags: Alan Ritchson, Brian Tyler, Brie Larson, Cars, Charlize Theron, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Cole Hauser, Dan Mazeau, Daniela Melchior, Debby Ryan, Dwayne Johnson, Explosions, Gal Gadot, Gary Scott Thompson, Helen Mirren, Jason Momoa, Jason Statham, Joaquim de Almeida, John Cena, Jordana Brewster, Justin Lin, Leo Abelo Perry, Louis Leterrier, Ludacris, Ludmilla, Luke Evans, Meadow Walker, Michael Irby, Michael Rooker, Michelle Rodriguez, Nathalie Emmanuel, Neal H. Moritz, paul walker, Pete Davidson, Rita Moreno, Scott Eastwood, Sonny Chiba, Stephen F. Windon, Sung Kang, Tyrese, Tyrese Gibson, vin diesel, Zach Dean
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