Okay, trying something here. Everyone stand back. Give the man some space. He’s about to take a leap. 99% chance of failure here. That ground below looks a lot like concrete.
But here’s an idea! Let’s put the “Daily” back in Daily Grindhouse. This will be a way to round up some small tidbits from the day that might be interesting to you, our dear readers. Now of course, this almost certainly can’t be daily. When there’s not much to talk about, we may have to skip a day. But today is not that day! Let’s get into it. First…
It’s a Criterion 50% Flash Sale!
Already in progress, ending at noon tomorrow (March 19th at 12pm). Buy physical media!
Looking for suggestions? DG recommends GODZILLA VERSUS BIOLLANTE, out today (c0nveniently enough) from the Criterion Collection.
TOXIE!
It’s insane. I did a massive piece of movies that I’m looking forward to in 2025 and I still missed this one somehow. To be fair, I didn’t know at the time I made that list that we would ever get to see this one. I knew it was out there. I didn’t know if it would make it to theaters. Now that I know, it’s in my top three most awaited of 2025. Written and directed by hugely talented actor-filmmaker Macon Blair and starring Peter Dinklage as Troma’s pride and joy, the Toxic Avenger. I’m almost hurt that I haven’t seen this already. I need to see it tomorrow.
Trailer: HAPPY GILMORE 2
Here’s something that exists. Did we need it? Was there more to be told after the first one ended? How are you really ever going to top Carl Weathers smiling down from Heaven with Abraham Lincoln and an alligator? (As we must hope he is doing at this very moment.)
Honestly, this could be real interesting if it had been directed by Paul Thomas Anderson or maybe the Safdies (Benny appears in this one as an actor). The director on HAPPY 2 is one of the creators of Workaholics. If that is interesting to you, then that is interesting to you. It’s hard to know if that means this will be anything more than what it looks like so far.
The Happy Gilmore character, maybe more than most in Sandler’s roster, is key to his comic persona. This character makes explicit the rage that many critic-types have noted is underlying in so much of Sandler’s best work. There is something almost intriguing about following this character into middle age, well past his athletic prime. The trailer doesn’t indicate that’s the direction we’re exploring, though.
The trailer promises more product placement than you can handle and a cavalcade of cameos, maybe most notably from Ben Stiller, who you might not remember was in the original. (I didn’t.) Sandler is such an unusual figure in American movies. He can marshal small armies of the biggest celebrities in the world into projects that are touch-and-go. For someone who works constantly, he doesn’t appear to be overly concerned with quality control. Even some of his better projects have sloppiness that keeps them from true greatness. Yet there’s simply no argument that he’s untalented or unfunny. His finest moments on screen have arguably been those times he was directed by filmmakers outside his Happy Madison cabal, but lots of his self-generated stuff has plenty of charm and often offers plenty of big stars chances to be silly that they don’t often get.
Anyway, I’ll watch it. You never know.
Darren Aronosky to direct CUJO?
I’m almost certain this is the first Stephen King book I ever read. I found it scary, but mainly because I was a kid. Even then, I was such a dog guy that I couldn’t ever fully buy into dog horror. I would rank this with CHRISTINE: Pretty hard to discount any Stephen King book, but pretty far from my favorite. That said, Darren Aronofsky directing an adaptation of Stephen King is more A-list than we often get, and could definitely be intriguing. Let’s see!
DG Recommends: Nope, Nothing Wrong Here: The Making of CUJO by Lee Gambin
Colin Farrell to play Sgt. Rock?
This is bound to be weird, but we like left-field projects here. Luca Guadagnino is the latest to be developing a movie about the DC Comics character Sergeant Rock, a World War II hero who leads a brigade called East Company. This was always a somewhat strange character since he was created in 1959, well over a decade after the Great War ended. Comics about WWII were mainly popular after the War, which is sort of funky to contemplate. Sgt. Rock is often thought of as DC’s counterpart to Nick Fury over at Marvel, but Fury first appeared in 1963, meaning Rock got there first. DC still makes comics about Sgt. Rock here and there, but he’s not as omnipresent as Nick Fury is at Marvel.
I guess Colin Farrell isn’t terrible casting for this character, since he’s a good enough actor to play just about anything he might be asked to do for this kind of movie. He’s probably way better casting for this part than he was for The Penguin, and everyone seems to like how that turned out. But I don’t know, I’m not sure that I’m into this counter-intuitive casting trend. What’s wrong with casting the first guy who comes to mind, rather than the fiftieth? I want somebody who looks like Joe Kubert drew him.
My pick? Nolte. Just off the top of my head.
A new Maika Monroe joint!
Maika Monroe is one of the best of the new generation of scream queens, but if one wants to become a household name, sadly, one cannot subsist upon horror films alone. This isn’t of much interest to me, personally, only as far as that it’s what Maika Monroe is working on next. Considering the massive PR nightmare that has occupied supermarket checkout lines after the release of IT ENDS WITH US, one could wonder why actors are still lining up Colleen Hoover adaptations, but remember that IT ENDS WITH US was hugely profitable and consider that people are still talking about that movie, for better or worse, months after it came out. And Colleen Hoover is one of the biggest names in publishing, so huge that my niece, who doesn’t read much that isn’t assigned in school, reads her books. Anyway, good for Maika! Big fans here.
CLOWN IN A CORNFIELD!
Speaking of people we’re fans of: Adam Cesare. The trailer’s been out for a couple weeks, but we’d be remiss to do a column like this one and not include it. It’s an adaptation of the first of Adam’s Stoker Award winning horror novels for young adults. (Last year’s was the third in the series.) Beware Frendo!
G.I. JOE FANSTREAM!
The talented team at Hasbro, who are bringing some of the best stuff around with the line of GI Joe Classified figures, posted a big update today. Here are some of the highlights!
Footloose!
Footloose hails from the so-called Class of 1985, which is the fourth series of original figures that included Flint, Lady Jaye, Alpine, Bazooka, and Shipwreck. He might not be as familiar as those characters, but as with just about every G.I. Joe character, he’s more interesting than you might imagine. You have to read the old character bios. You’d learn Footloose was a high school all-star who joined the Army after pondering the pointlessness of his existence. Remember, these toys were marketed to children. I wonder how many existential crises this action figure inspired in my fellow ’80s kids…
Blowtorch!
While Blowtorch has a code name that matches the weapon he wields, like so many other Joes, he has the capacity to surprise you. Would you believe that instead of being a fire enthusiast, he’s so paranoid about the dangers of fire that he can’t sleep unless he’s near a smoke detector and he absolutely abhors cigarettes? To Blowtorch, it’s a phobia. To kids, he’s a lesson in fire safety!
Darklon!
I entirely missed this guy as a kid, so I have to resort to the internet to learn about him, just like anybody else. It looks like he was one of those villains who came with a vehicle. I really just like his spooky skull alternate head (as seen below).
Frag-Viper!
Now this guy I had as a kid! He used those janky claw-things like lacrosse sticks, to fling grenades at the good guys. This was in my era of transitioning away from G.I. Joe to full-on Marvel Comics zombie, so based on that bug-like helmet, I used to pretend this figure was a made-up villain called The Hornet. You’re learning a lot about me today.
Law & Order!
Probably the highlight of the figures spotlighted today for me. I had this tag-team as a kid. The guy is Law and the dog is Order. One fun thing about Law is that his helmet was removable and without it, he kind of had hat-head. (I also thought he kind of resembled Bette Midler, but you may not be willing to go with me on that one.) Obviously the best thing about Law was Order. I loved the figures that came with animal sidekicks. The new versions from GI Joe Classified are lovingly rendered by the talented designers, and I’ve been having fun collecting them.
Produced by Dick Wolf.
See you all tomorrow! Same meeting place. And be sure to support DG on Patreon! We love you.
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Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Adam Cesare, Adam Sandler, Alligators, Ben Stiller, Books, Carl Weathers, Colin Farrell, Columns, daily grindhouse, DC Comics, Dogs, GI Joe, GODZILLA, Horror, Jon Abrams, Maika Monroe, Peter Dinklage, Sequels, Sgt. Rock, The 1980s, Toys
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