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Alley Thug: All right, you want it in the chest, or the head?
 
Joe Hallenbeck: Yeah, that’s what your wife said.
 
Alley Thug: Hey, would you stop with the wife shit?
 
Joe Hallenbeck: Ask me how fat she is.
 
Alley Thug: Fuck you, man! How fat is she?
 
Joe Hallenbeck: She’s so fat I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
Motherfucker, if you wanna fuck her you gotta slap her thigh and ride the wave in. Now I’m not saying she’s fat, her high school picture was an aerial photograph.

Goddamn, when Bruce Willis wants to be tough he can be the toughest bastard in the room and still have enough cool left to take home. Dude just knows how to throw (and take) a punch. You add Tony Scott directing, a Shane Black script (the highest amount paid for a script at the time), and Halle Berry in a brief role working the pole, and pal o’mine you have a badass joint on your hands.

SEE YOU ON FORTY DEUCE,

G

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Jon Abrams

Editor-In-Chief at Daily Grindhouse

Jon Abrams is a New York-based writer, cartoonist, and committed cinemaniac whose complete work and credits can be found at his site, Demon’s Resume. You can contact him on Twitter as @JonZilla___.

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