HEY BASTARDS.
Here are the Top 10 titles we dug the most for the month of March. Some cool shit dropped this month including one or two that are sure to end up on “Best Of” list at the end of this year. As always, click the cover art to jump over to Amazon and snag the title(s).
10. PLAN 9 FROM OUTTER SPACE (1959)
This is the goddamn Elvis Presley of bad movies but far from the shit-pile it’s made out to be. This is 100% cult designed for the midnight showing and directed with carefully crafted crazy. This release was smart enough to include both a colorized version and the original black and white (where it belongs). It also has some commercials shot by Ed Wood and some clips from his home movies.
9. virgin witch (1972)
Ann Michelle and her real life sister Vicki (PSYCHOMANIA) drive out to the country for a modeling gig. Once there they find an often naked, lesbian witch who enjoys orgies and dancing naked to bongo drums. The best kind of lesbian there is in my book.
8. LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS (1960)
Another Roger Corman classic that spawned a remake and a whole new generation of man-eating plant fans. Like PLAN 9, this is also in color and black and white, guess which one we dig most? This is one of The Wall’s favorite Jack Nicholson performances.
7. THE GIRL IN ROOM 2A (1974)
No idea how to write about this film. I dug it, it was pretty interesting, but I have no idea what the fuck happened in this. Mondo Macabro did a nice job cleaning this up and giving us the first uncut version of this flick, but fuck me this film is has no idea what anybody is doing. Worth checking out if you’re either a giallo fan or just dig a good pile of watchable mess.
6. WIZARDS (1977)
My love for FRITZ THE CAT is well documented but I actually picked this up when it was released on VHS because Mark Hamill did voice-work and at the time I was obsessed with all things remotely related to STAR WARS (which also meant I unfortunately saw CORVETTE SUMMER). Ralph Bakshi was once again ahead of his time, creating an odd mix of animation and stock footage that alternates between cool and scary.
5. BURNING MOON (1997)
Bedtime stories are usually gentle, sometimes thrilling, but always very safe. The little girl in this flick though has a drug addicted brother that thinks the best way to lull the wee one to sleep is stories of decapitations, stabbings, face-peelings, disembowelments, gouging’s, and general bloody drenched debauchery. Ah illegal narcotics, is there anything you can’t do?
The drug addict and his little sister are just a wrapper on the gore soaked story. An excuse to jump into a couple of stories to set up an excuse to get messy, and not just a little messy, I am talking hardcore German horror messy. This is another shot-on-video classic that Intervision is bringing to the masses. Because this is a SOV film, it doesn’t look great but they did the best transfer possible. Buckle up, Bastards. This one is bloody as hell. Look for a review soon from The Creeper (who is fluent in both German and the language of love).
4. FIVE ELEMENT NINJA (1982)
Although Chang Cheh continued to make films until 1993, Cheh would never again make a film as good as FIVE ELEMENT NINJAS. By 1982 his stock had fallen and the period kung fu film he was known for was being ditched for quick, easy, and cheap kung fu films. Not one to walk away without a fight, Cheh created one of his many masterpieces; FIVE ELEMENT NINJAS is one of the best films in the Shaw Brother catalog. Endlessly inventive with rousing choreography. Dig it!
3. STRIP NUDE FOR YOUR KILLER (1975)
Belly up to the bar for sex, violence, and a faceless killer. Blue Underground is having one hell of a 2012 and STRIP NUDE FOR YOUR KILLER is another solid release from Lustig and crew. This isn’t one of the greatest examples of giallos and it certainly isn’t the best flick to come from hackish director Andrea Bianchi (that would be MALABIMBA) but it has two things going for it:
1. Some truly unique moments and WHAT THE FUCK ending.
2. It stars Edwige Fenech who I am fairly sure I could watch blowing her nose and be aroused. Am I pig? Yup.
2. CORMAN’S WORLD (1975)
Early on in the new documentary, CORMAN’S WORLD: EXPLOITS OF A HOLLYWOOD REBEL, we are given the basic philosophy of the low budget movie-making titan, “We feel that the monster should kill somebody fairly early and then at regular intervals through the picture. The first kill should be quite shocking, the other kills can be a little bit less shocking as we build up, and then of course the climax, everything goes, blood all over the screen.” Read Mouthdork’s full review here, then pick this good shit up!
1. BATTLE ROYALE (2000)
This is a love letter to chaos, Lord of the Flies with a loaded clip and other crafty weapons of death. Simply put, BATTLE ROYALE is a masterpiece, a near flawless exercise in the type of visceral filmmaking that is just as revolutionariy now as it was when it debuted in 2001. The second one isn’t as good as the first, director Kenji Fukasaku died of prostate cancer after shooting one scene. The film was completed by his son (who also wrote the screenplay for both films) and while far from the masterpiece of the first it’s still tougher than most of the studio trash that hits the screens today. *Cough* HUNGER GAMES *Cough*
On a side not, Anchor Bay has to be considered for best box art of the year.
HERE’S TO GOOD WATCHING THIS WEEK, SALUTE!
THE WALL
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