About three years ago my hair retreated from the top of my head to my back… and the fucking follicles never even said goodbye. They just picked up their locks of love and hightailed it south. Out of bitter resentment… due to no demand whatsoever… we bring you the Top 10 follicles in film…
10. Kathy Bate’s Mustache
See it? Huh? You know it’s there.
9. Mr. T’s Mohawk
We pity the fool who doesn’t dig this famous cut….even if it looks like it belongs on a muppet.
8. Chewbacca’s Carpet
You were expecting a Wookie?
7. Pam Grier’s Fro
Yes, we know it’s hard to focus on Pam’s fro, but any hairdo that can hide razorblades in it had to make the list.
6. The Wolf Man’s Shag
Supposedly it took makeup wizard Jack Pierce hours to apply a bunch of “yak” hair to Lon Chaney’s exposed areas in order create this classic monster. I don’t know about you, but I would hate that fucker if I were Chaney.
5. Sean Connery’s Chest Hair
“Sean, we want you to wear this outfit to hide your chest hair….wait…….”
4. The Noggins of The Three Stooges
With haircuts like these , it’s no wonder these guys beat the shit out of each other so much.
3. Tom Selleck’s Mustache
Basketball great Wilt Chamberlain supposedly had sex with over 2,000 women. Add three more zeros to Tom Selleck’s mustache’s stats.
2. Chuck Norris’ Beard
Had to make the list. We at DG don’t enjoy getting our asses kicked.
1. Sharon Stone’s Shaved Hooha
There are still hair follicles down there.
Zevk,
Poe
- [THE BIG QUESTION] WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE FEMALE ENSEMBLE IN MOVIES? - July 22, 2016
- [IN THEATERS NOW] THE BOY (2016) - January 24, 2016
- Cult Movie Mania Releases Lucio Fulci Limited Edition VHS Sets - January 5, 2016
Awesome post. I particularly enjoy slowly scrolling down and seeing who is coming next. Some of these are funny… others will terrify me in my nightmares (Chewbacca).