Producers: Jim “The Dragon” Kelly, welcome to our office.
Jim: Get to the point, Roper.
Producer: Uh… right… well… we have a new role for you in our next film. It’s called BLACK SAUMRAI: AGENT FOR DRAGON.
Jim: Can I play tennis in it? You know I am thinking of hanging up my kung-fu-ness to teach tennis right?
Producer: No Jim, I didn’t know that, that seems… odd.
Jim: Call me Dragon damnit!
Producer: Sorry Dragon. Yes, we can work in a tennis scene.
Jim: You know I only star in shit movies Roper, is this shit?
Producer: It’s the shittiest! Why do you keep calling me Roper?
Jim: Can I wear jet-pack?
Producer: What? Why? This isn’t a Bond film Dragon, why do you need to wear a jet-pack?
Jim: It was the last thing Bruce Lee said to me. He said “Jim, wear a damn jet-pack in your next film.”
Producer: Okay, okay, a jet-pack. But it wont be real and you’ll be able to see the strings.
Jim: Will the audio sync up to the onscreen action?
Producer: No, we are expecting a lot of out-of sync scenes
Jim: Will my punches and kicks look like they really connect?
Producer: Rarely.
Jim: Rarely or never?
Producer: Never, we will make sure you are at least a yard away from where your punches and kicks should end up.
Jim: Sounds like you got yourself a real stinker, Roper.
Producer: Seriously, why do you keep calling me Roper?
Jim: Sign me up before I challenge you to a tennis match and hump your wife.
Producer: I am not married, Jim.
Jim: Dragon!
Producer: Dragon.




Jon Abrams

Editor-In-Chief at Daily Grindhouse
Jon Abrams is a New York-based writer, cartoonist, and committed cinemaniac whose complete work and credits can be found at his site, Demon’s Resume. You can contact him on Twitter as @JonZilla___.
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