June 7, 2017



As you all may have already heard through the ever-present grapevine of Bureau affairs, Special Agent Dale Cooper has been located. You may also already know that he is currently being held under police custody in South Dakota. The local police have found him as the result of a car accident. Unregistered weapons and illegal drugs were found in his vehicle. I think it goes without saying that something is very very wrong.


Agents Albert Rosenfield, Tamara Preston, and myself held “conversation” with the former Agent Cooper, to no avail. He is very clearly not himself. I quite simply cannot understand what exactly is happening here, but it has something to do with the missing Agents, Phillip Jeffries and Chester Desmond. It is my belief that whatever happened to the former Agent Cooper also happened to the two of them. The former Agent Windom Earle likely also has something to do with these mysterious events.


There is one certain person who may be of help. We do not exactly know the current location of this individual, but we know what bar she frequents. The identity of this individual can be revealed to those of you with enough security clearance. Once again, this is a Blue Rose case. Our two agents who usually deal with situations like these are currently unavailable. If anyone has any ideas, please contact Agent Preston. We can certainly use all the brilliant minds of the Bureau that we can get. Over and out!!!



Regional Chief




The dreaded transitional episode. Every show has them. Upon a second viewing, I may find a clear beginning, middle, and end, but for now, it just seems to be a bunch of stuff happening. I’m starting to think more and more that this new version of the show is really meant to be watched marathon-style.


We still don’t know the identity of the mystery woman to whom Gordon refers at the tail end of the previous episode. My guess is that it’ll be Laura Dern playing the previously-unseen Diane. Cooper remains in his stupor, yet is beginning to show signs of his old self. The boy across the street with his addict mother was once again a disturbing addition. What’s worse, his living conditions or the fact that he almost disabled the bomb, yet nearly got blown up himself? Even Shelley’s daughter is an addict. Is Bobby Briggs the father? I don’t remember anyone mentioning if they were still together or not either. Was there something that I missed? The Evil Cooper prison scenes were interesting, yet they only really brought up things we already know about Cooper/Bob. And like I said earlier, we didn’t get the Evil Coop meeting with Gordon’s mystery woman. Hopefully next week.


There didn’t seem to be any kind of story arc to the episode. I can’t say that for the most part that the story wasn’t brought forward, but I just wish there was more meat to chew on during this particular meal. Then again, this show so far at its worst is still better than nearly everything else available on your television/phone/computer/tablet.


Rich Maier

Rich Maier is a film and music critic and a screenwriter from the badass Chicago suburb of Blue Island. Aside from often incomprehensible Facebook rants and The Daily Grindhouse, Rich has written screenplays and comic book scripts for Kaosfield Studios. When not being a writer and a beer snob, Rich is the main musician / producer for the mostly electronic act Sanity Association. He is also the former keyboardist, programmer, and sometimes guitarist for the legendary goth band Dalet-Yod.

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