[The Gray Lodge] Seventeenth Report

 

“I’m not gonna talk about Judy!”

 

Jiào Dé, it seems, is actually the ancient entity we’ve known previously as “Judy.” Possibly the very entity that gave birth to Bob in Episode Eight, and attacked the young couple in the first two episodes. At some point during Season Two, Cooper, Gordon, and Major Briggs schemed to get rid of the spirit. I can’t help but wonder how things would’ve worked out minus the interference of Cooper’s doppelganger.

 

Diane, Diane, Diane, Diane, Di-ane!!!

 

For years, all we knew of Diane was as Cooper’s unseen secretary, spoken to through a microcassette sent via postal delivery. There were of course, those fans who believed (and some still do) that Diane was a mere figment of Cooper’s imagination, or simply a vessel for a kind of a journal not unlike Laura Palmer’s diary. We know this cannot be true, being that Cooper would request items from her to be delivered to his room at The Great Northern.

 

Then, quite recently, we’ve known Diane as the broken and foul-mouthed ex-member of the FBI, nearly refusing to cooperate with Gordon and Albert. It seemed strongly implied that Evil Cooper had raped her during their final encounter years ago. Our suspicions were confirmed mere moments before we learned that she had been only another doppelganger created by Evil Cooper.

 

The real Diane turned out to be in a kind of blind and disguised stupor. We knew her as Naido, until Cooper was somehow able to transform her back into Diane. It’s interesting to note that the words “Diane” and “Naido” contain most of the same letters. About four years after the real Cooper entered the Lodge, she had been raped and replaced by Evil Cooper. Are we to believe that the real Diane had been rendered blind and dumb and imprisoned for nearly twenty-one years? It certainly seems so.

 

Chad!

 

Chad. What do we know about Chad? We still don’t know what his actual crimes are. We know he’s an asshole. We know he’s a “very bad person.” Now we know that he could’ve escaped his cell at pretty much any time in the last few episodes. What can I say? He’s a dumbassed dumbass!

 

Green-Gloved Freddie!

 

Quite a few fans on social media have been complaining that the character had simply been air-dropped into the show, only to become the ultimate hero, instead of Agent Cooper. All I see is another character drawn into the vortex and given a destiny by The Fireman. I found his character’s journey compelling, even being as simple as it was. The only person who could destroy the entity known as Bob is also the one who saves Andy from possibly being killed by Chad.

 

Cooper’s Great Northern Key?

 

The key had previously been dropped by “Dougie” in Jade’s car, then dropped by Jade into a mailbox, then sent back to The Great Northern, then given to Sheriff Truman to eventually be given back to Cooper. Since when did the key lead to a different dimension? Gordon and Diane can only follow him so far? Yet another visit to Phillip Jeffries?

 

Laura Palmer is still alive?

 

Mike leads Cooper to Jeffries, who in turn transfers him to the fateful night that Laura was brutally murdered by her father possessed by Bob? He leads her away, and her dead body disappears from the scene of the crime, only for her to disappear from him!? If he prevents her murder, then how can he be there in the first place to prevent it? Is this why Laura screams after she disappears? Why does Sarah Palmer smash Laura’s picture?

 

Where’s Audrey!?

 

In a coma or in an asylum!? In a coma or in an asylum!? In a coma or in an asylum!? In a coma or in an asylum!? In a coma or in an asylum!? In a coma or in an asylum!? In a coma or in an asylum!? In a coma or in an asylum!? In a coma or in an asylum!? In a coma or in an asylum!? In a coma or in an asylum!? In a coma or in an asylum!? In a coma or in an asylum!? In a coma or in an asylum!?

 

 

 

 

Rich Maier

Rich Maier is a film and music critic and a screenwriter from the badass Chicago suburb of Blue Island. Aside from often incomprehensible Facebook rants and The Daily Grindhouse, Rich has written screenplays and comic book scripts for Kaosfield Studios. When not being a writer and a beer snob, Rich is the main musician / producer for the mostly electronic act Sanity Association. He is also the former keyboardist, programmer, and sometimes guitarist for the legendary goth band Dalet-Yod.

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