GODZILLA 2000 is not the best monster movie, but it sure is memorable, mainly because it features a metaphorical kaiju sex scene.
In the film’s final battle scene, Godzilla faces off against Orga (yes, that’s its actual name!)
Orga stares at Godzilla.
Godzilla stares back at Orga.
Orga opens its vaginal mouth.
Godzilla is all like “Whoa. Seriously?”
The on-lookers are all like, “Dude, it’s a PG movie.”
Orga expands its mouth into a Georgia O’Keefe painting.
Even Godzilla can’t believe what he’s seeing.
Naturally Godzilla shoves his head in that thing.
The citizens are disgusted, but, like us, they cannot look away.
And sure enough, the monsters go at it.
And just like in real life, this continues for about 35 seconds.
Until Godzilla gets so hot…
….he shoots his white fire.
And believe it or not, one of the next line of dialogue is “Godzilla is coming!”
Remember this was not a Godzilla porn parody, it was an official Toho release. I saw a matinee show at the Park Slope Pavillion in Brooklyn. There were a number of Dads in the audience, excited to take their kids to see a Godzilla movie. I still wonder if other people understood the film the way I did. Not only have a seen a Godzilla sex-act. I’ve converted it into 15 GIFs. My work here is done.
Kevin Maher is an Emmy-nominated comedy writer and an award-winning filmmaker. He hosted AMC’s THE SCI-FI DEPT and currently hosts the live video-variety show KEVIN GEEKS OUT in Brooklyn. www.KevinGeeksOut.com