Ah New World Pictures, we can always count on you for a good dose of sleaze and tease. KANDYLAND (1987), directed by the then/still unknown Robert Allen Schnitzer doubles down on both. If you like bad music and oddly large panties, then you’re going to dig the hell out of this joint. The story, which I am calling it instead of “the moments where there aren’t tits”, is about a young and innocent Joni (Playboy Playmate Kim Evenson) who joins a bikini contest, only to be shortly persuaded by an aging stripper (Sandahl Bergman) to join her at Kandyland. It’s kind of like The Sorcerer’s Apprentice but with nudity, drugs, bad music, and a complete lack of magic. Bergman (CONAN THE BARBARIAN) is good in her role as the mentor, and it does have a performance by character actor Irwin Keys (aka ‘Too Mean’ Levine from ZAPPED!)but… that’s all I got. Step up to the rack, gents.




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