THE TWISTED TWINS PRESENT: THE TOP 10 SHE’S SO FUCKING COOL MOMENTS IN FILM

10. PLANET TERROR

 

The jail break. When Dakota regains the use of her hands and Cherry Darling quite literally finds a leg to stand on. When useless talents reveal themselves to be not so useless after all.

 

9. BATMAN RETURNS

 

 

A woman being mugged in an alley is saved by a Catwoman who plays tick tack toe on the assailant’s face with her razor sharp claws. She then turns her fury onto the woman who she gives a lesson in kicking ass by not playing victim. Catwoman backflips away, a true feminist. Who needs motherfucking Batman to save you? Nobody.

 

8. DESPERADO

 

Celina, the bookstore owner, savvily sews up an injured El on her counter top. She then shoves him out of view and covers for him when the blood-thirsty crime lord comes looking for the injured mariachi.

 

7. GINGER SNAPS

 

 

Brigitte is hit and harassed by the popular clique. During field hockey, Ginger does the sisterly thing and lays that bitch out flat. It’s nice to know your sibling has your back, quarterback-style.

 

6. ALIENS

 

 

When Ripley says, “get away from her, you bitch!”. You know what I mean. Ripley is the ultimate hero. I remember watching her as little girls and saying, “I want to be her.”

 

5. BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

 

 

Season 5, season finale. Buffy realizes the only way to save the world and not have to sacrifice her sister, she must sacrifice herself. Without a second thought, hesitation, or moment of regret, she smiles at her sister, turns, and plummets to her death. Only a true hero would act so selflessly and the season beautifully leads up to the event exploring themes of purpose, duty, life, and death. A close second would be when Willow loses Tara and rips Warren’s skin off. Cuz us bitches do get upset in that very special way where only homicide can give comfort.

 

4. AUDITION

 

A lonely producer sets up an audition to meet a new woman. He finds a perfect one, but it turns out he is in much more danger than she would ever be. She breaks into his home and uses her razor wire to teach him it’s not nice to fuck with a lady’s feeling. A highly unstable lady’s feelings, but feelings no less.

 

3. HOSTEL 2

 

 

Beth is captured in the Hostel and is tied up with nowhere to go, but into pieces. She talks her way out of her restraints and kicks the fucker’s ass. When the staff comes to stop her, she buys her way out like a businessman after castrating the man who would have had her killed. Out of the kitchen and into the boardroom, don’t fuck with her.

 

 

2. MARTYRS

 

What Anna does to Mademoiselle at the end. I won’t spoil it. She’s so strong even at her weakest point. It’s so inspiring and morbidly beautiful. Proof that even a “victim” can hold the upper hand.

 

1. LOTR: THE TWO TOWERS

 

Eoywn faces off against the Shadow King. He tells her no man can hurt him. She retorts by beheading the fucker and saying ‘I am no man!’

 

____________

 

That list is all kinds tough. Word to the wise: don’t piss off the Soska twins.

SEE YOU ON FORTY DEUCE,

G

 

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