Sometimes a movie comes along, and even before you see it, you know you are going to love it. Other times that anticipation can be misleading, and said movie cannot reasonably live up to the idea you’ve built up in your head for it to be. In most cases, it’s better to go into a theater with zero expectations of a film. That way, you can’t be let down.
One of the most exciting things to happen as a film fan is when everything falls into place, and things don’t only live up to your expectations, but far exceed your expectations. Thankfully, that was the case when I saw HUMAN CENTIPEDE III: FINAL SEQUENCE on its opening night at The Music Box Theater in Chicago. Not only had I loved the first two films, but the review of this film was to be my first movie review for the Daily Grindhouse.
HUMAN CENTIPEDE III: FINAL SEQUENCE is probably the campiest, most meta, over-the-top thing I have ever seen. With the tag line of “100% politically incorrect” parodying the tag line for the first HUMAN CENTIPEDE movie “100% medically accurate,” I knew I was in for a wild ride, and goddamn it, HUMAN CENTIPEDE III: FINAL SEQUENCE delivered.
Each film in the HUMAN CENTIPEDE trilogy gets more meta than the last, and in this third film, the wicked prison warden, Bill Boss (Dieter Laser) can’t control his prison. When the warden runs out of reasonable routes (torture, maiming, castration) he throws in the towel. Lucky for him he has his trusty sidekick and prison accountant Dwight (Laurence Harvey), who comes up with the final solution to their problems.
Inspired by the first two HUMAN CENTIPEDE movies, the two set forth on plans to sew all the inmates together in a 500-person human centipede. Of course, since the prison doctor, Dr. Jones (Clayton Rohner) doesn’t have his medical license, he agrees to do whatever the warden says, and following a meeting with the director of the HUMAN CENTIPEDE movies, Tom Six (as played by himself), they start off right away creating the first Human Prison Centipede!
When I sat down the next day to write my review of the film, I didn’t know where to start. Looking back at that first review, it’s kind of a mess. Everything in the movie was perfect, and I wanted to do it justice with my review. The offensive humor, the over-the-top gore, and the sociopolitical subtext concerning the American judicial prison-for-profit system were all items I wanted to hit on. My mind was overloaded with thoughts. I was very concerned with making a good impression with my first movie review for Daily Grindhouse.
Sitting down and spitting out my thoughts on a movie for an established website was a bit overwhelming. I’m so glad I started off writing for this website by writing about a movie I truly love. HUMAN CENTIPEDE III: FINAL SEQUENCE is the best comedy of 2015. This movie isn’t for everyone, but to me, it’s damn near perfect.
This may be the five-year anniversary of HUMAN CENTIPEDE III: FINAL SEQUENCE hitting the big screen, but it’s also my five-year anniversary of writing for Daily Grindhouse. We are a family here. Sometimes dysfunctional, a little antisocial, and if you see us at an event together, we roll through like a gang. Huge thank-you to Mike Vanderbilt for inviting me aboard, extra-special thank-you to Jon Abrams for putting up with my crazy ass, and one last shout-out to all the other editors and contributors here at Daily Grindhouse. Here’s hoping we have many more wonderful years together.