JAMES BICKERT PRESENTS: TOP 10 GRINDHOUSE AND BEER PAIRINGS

I made fun of wine sommeliers in DEAR GOD NO! and beer is starting to get just as snobby. Since alcohol was a symbolic part of the class struggle in the film, I put together a beer and movie pairing top 10 list. I’m no expert on the nose or mouthfeel of a brew. I do however recognize the finish in between my gigantic mug killing gulps. Here are some of the finer home wreckers I’ve encountered and the films they enhance. This list wasn’t formed in moderation and I don‘t advocate drinking responsibly.

 

10. Southern Tier Pumking
 
Imperial Pumpkin Ale

 

I dig me pumpkin beer. Most brewers screw pumpkin ales up with seasonal spices you would associate with pies, cookies or hippy bread. Southern Tier gets it right. You can taste the damn pumpkin and the abv is at 8.6% which is perfect for getting in the action. One can taste the alcohol but it isn’t the star. Since pumpkins are seasonal beers released for Halloween, the obvious choice would be to pair it with a horror film. Not me. It’s football season and big round pumpkins make me think of a big round sis-boom-ba booty like the ones packed into Paul Glickler’s The Cheerleaders (1973). When I’m drinking, I can’t get enough of Stephanie Fondue, Denise Dillaway and Jovita Bush. Southern Tier ain’t no malaria in the area and will help you rise to the occasion.

 

 

9. Breckenridge Vanilla Porter

 

The perfect combination of dark and creamy. This wonderful brew eliminates the peculiar finish of a Guinness in favor of sweet and smoky vanilla. Eddie Romero’s Black Mama White Mama (1973) would be a good choice but I pair it with his totally whacked out prick tease Savage Sisters (1974). Still has plenty of black mamas and white mamas. Porters are like comfort food and a few of these chuckle wizards will conjure up the right mind to spend quality time with Vic Diaz, Sid Haig and John Ashley. If you’re not feeling the whimsy, pair with Romero’s The Woman Hunt (1973).

 

 

8. Sierra Nevada Tumbler Autumn Brown

 

I’m not a big fan of this California brewery that relies on obnoxiously hopped beers but their Tumbler is outstanding. Dark yet light bodied with a woodsy flavor and a celery finish that remind me of beef stew. The whole experience is just perfect for William Girdler’s Grizzly (1976).Tasty suds packed full of malty flavor like bare naked campers. At 5.5% you can down quite a few before playing with the rocket launcher.

 

 

7. New Belgium LaFollie Sour Brown

 

The first sip will make your face pucker up but halfway through there is a 50/50 chance that you will be addicted. No other film made me feel this way like Oswaldo de Oliveira’s filth masterpiece Bare Behind Bars (1980). A wonderful combination for adventurous palates. After this tang bang you may find yourself sharing a homemade dildo or checking into a 12 step program for quitters.

 

 

6. Avery White Rascal

 

Avery makes high end beer in cans which kicks ass. White Rascal has a ginger finish similar to some Japanese beers I’ve tasted but it throws in a little pepper too that reminds me of my favorite Japanese ass kicker Bunta Sugarawa in Modern Yakuza Outlaw Killer (1972). Drink enough of this and you’ll become just as reckless as the Yakuza nut job he portrays. Also pairs well with Sonny Chiba in Wolf Guy (1975).

 

 

5. Weihenstephaner Crystal Wheat

 

Wheat beers are underrated. Boulevard and Tallgrass from the Kansas City area would pair perfect with this movie. Since they are regional, I’m picking a beer that is more accessible. The film you can really pound Weihenstephaner’s Crystal Wheat (any unfiltered wheat also) with is Prime Cut (1972). Bad motherfucker Lee Marvin is the fish out of water Chicago gangster trying to snuff out human trafficking redneck Gene Hackman. A great cast, human sausage, young nude Sissey Spacek and an epic wheat field chase blend perfect with this smooth finish. I pair German Kolsch and Roggenbier with Dyanne Thorne & Schoolgirl Report flicks in case you were wondering.

 

 

4. Rheingold

 

Rheingold was once a major player in the 50’s, now it’s just cheap swill that has enough flavor to remind your drunk ass that you’re chugging something better than Bud Light. Hot Times a.k.a. A Hard Day for Archie (1974) takes the icons of the Archie comics and tosses them into one cheap stroke off flick from the 70’s making it perfect for the lost glory of Rheingold. Bad beer never tasted so good as it does while watching Betty & Veronica get it on in some dingy flea infested slum. If you love the New York City of the 70’s and crushed dreams than this is the pairing for you. One may also substitute Ballantine, Grain Belt, Miller High Life and Schlitz if you so choose. Any of these also pair well with Honky Tonk Nights (1978).

 

 

3. Peroni & Young’s Double Chocolate Stout

 

Smokey dark goodness that marries perfect with our mafia killing man Fred Williamson in Larry Cohen’s Black Caesar (1973). While the Italians and crooked cops have the upper hand, drink the refreshing Peroni. When our anti-hero starts blasting the marinara sauce out of the syndicate and sticking it to the man the Youngs will go down like butter on a fried pork chop.

 

 

2. Dogfish Head Palo Santo Marron

 

This powerful insanity juice is brewed in casks made from the hardest wood on earth and the curvaceous Phyllis Davis will have you the hardest man on earth in Sweet Sugar (1972). It’s sweet vanilla finish packs power at 12% abv just like our machete mama Sugar bustin’ out from Dr. John’s banana republic hell hole. Like the cats in the film, Palo Santo Marron seems to have some kind of psychedelic properties too. You’re going to be so blitzed from this stuff you might as well throw on The Big Doll House (1971), The Big Bird Cage (1972) and Barbed Wire Dolls (1976). It’s gonna be a long ride, brother.

 

 

1. Pabst Blue Ribbon

 

 
The beverage of hell raisin’ champions that‘s been hijacked by L.A. hipsters. This goes great with Filipino Action, Hicksploitation, Indonesian Flying Head Movies and even 70’s big bush porn. But, what you really want to pair this with is a biker film. Just about any will do. I would recommend Savage Seven (1968), The Glory Stompers (1968), The Wild Angels (1966), Northville Cemetery Massacre (1976), Werewolves on Wheels (1971) or drink along with the delightfully charming cretins in DEAR GOD NO! (2011).
 

 

 

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