EXCLUSIVE: (New York, NY) Eagle-eyed trendspotters have noticed the recent rush by savvy producers to take every beloved movie, TV show, and pop culture character ever, and transform their stories into Broadway extravaganzas. Having recently made his first foray into the popular 3D format with HUGO, bolstered by his long history of making rock documentaries from THE LAST WALTZ to SHINE A LIGHT, esteemed film director Martin Scorsese is now taking a leap into musical theater, planning to reunite many of the original cast members of his 1990 mob classic GOODFELLAS for an upbeat jubilee sure to delight tourists and elderly white people everywhere.
And of course, some gimpy choad who writes for the New York Post is excited about it, since now this finally explains GOODFELLAS to women.
Anonymous sources close to the production have circulated a rough draft of the cast album, featuring the majority of the proposed musical numbers in the show as performed by the surviving members of the original cast of the film:
Overture/ You Popped Your Cherry
Paul Sorvino, Robert De Niro, Company
Ray Liotta, Tony Darrow, Paul Sorvino
I’m Gonna Go Get The Papers (Get The Papers)
Anthony “Jimmy Two Times” Powers, Ray Liotta, Company
Joe Pesci, Ray Liotta, Robert De Niro
Fuckin’ Mumbling Stuttering Little Fuck (The Oklahoma Kid)
Joe Pesci, Michael Imperioli
Joe Pesci, Ray Liotta, Lorraine Bracco
Bobby Vinton Sent Us Champagne
Lorraine Bracco, Ray Liotta, Company
Schmuck On Wheels
Chuck Low, Ray Liotta, Robert De Niro
Don’t Go Busting My Balls/ Go Get Your Shine Box (duet)
Joe Pesci, Frank Vincent
One Dog Goes One Way
Joe Pesci, Robert De Niro, Ray Liotta
Robert De Niro, Company
The Lonesome Death Of Stacks Edwards (Make That Coffee To Go)
Samuel L. Jackson, Joe Pesci
Real Greaseball Shit (Revenge For Billy Bats)
Ray Liotta, Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci
The Whore Living In 2R
Debi Mazar, Lorraine Bracco, Ray Liotta
Carbone’s Meat Locker Soliloquy
Marinara Sauce In Purgatory
Ray Liotta, Lorraine Bracco, Paul Sorvino, Kevin Corrigan, Welker White
An Average Nobody (The Great Train Robbery) (grand finale)
Ray Liotta, Company
GOODFELLAS: THE MUSICAL!, coming to Broadway in 2017.
Book by Trey Parker & Matt Stone and Stephen Sondheim. Music by Kanye West and Mick Jagger & Keith Richards. Stage design and puppetry by Julie Taymor.
Meanwhile, GOODFELLAS: THE FILM is playing in New York City at Film Forum in a splendid restoration, from Friday June 19th through Thursday June 25th. If you haven’t seen it on the big screen, you need to, and this is the perfect way to do it.
And of course, for more up-to-the-minute “showbiz” updates, follow @jonnyabomb on Twitter!
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Tags: Catherine Scorsese, Charles Scorsese, Chuck Low, Debi Mazar, Frank Sivero, Frank Vincent, Funnin', Henny Youngman, Joe Pesci, Kevin Corrigan, Lorraine Bracco, Martin Scorsese, Michael Ballhaus, Michael Imperioli, Mike Starr, Musicals, Nicholas Pileggi, Paul Sorvino, Ray Liotta, Robert De Niro, Samuel L. Jackson, Stone Classics, Suzanne Shepherd, Thelma Schoonmaker, Tony Darrow, Tony Sirico, Vincent Pastore, Welker White