SATURN 3 (1980)



A pair of scientists (Kirk Douglas and Farrah Fawcett) are living the good life as they study hydroponics on a research station established on one of Saturn’s many moons.  In between daily trips to a Costco sized warehouse of Viagra, Kirk conducts studies on all sorts of plants and bushes, including assistant Farrah, who is also his lover. When a deranged nut-job (a dubbed Harvey Keitel) arrives from Earth with a horny monster robot in tow, things begin to look bleak for our lovers and Kirk and famous chin must rise to the occasion (insert second Viagra joke here) to save their Utopian existence. This never happened to Burt Lancaster.


Clunky ALIEN rip-off is known mostly today for its infamous if brief shot of one of Farrah’s nipples. The film’s original director, John Barry (a set designer on STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE), was replaced by Stanley Donen after butting heads with Kirk Douglas. Guessing there’s a good chance the dispute was over Kirk’s demand for the lengthening of the aforementioned nipple shot.








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