Welcome to the newest, or new-ish, recurring feature at Daily Grindhouse, where we will take a look at the newest and coolest toys that are technically available* for you to purchase. It’s arguably never been a better time to be a fan of action figures, or movies, or comic books, or video games, since improving technology is constantly yielding ever-more-impressive artifacts of pop-culture obsession. Unfortunately, it’s also a royally fucked-up time in human history, a time of perpetual information, with a steady flow of news that appears designed expressly to remind us how dire our collective situation is. While I can’t endorse head-down-a-hole escapism, I can say that the fine art of finding simple joys is arguably more important than ever.
For me, toys have become one of my simple joys. I can’t entirely explain it. I’m not sure that I need to. All I know is, you’ve got a nice new column to read because of it.
Many of the toy lines of yesteryear — Secret Wars (Marvel), Super Powers (D.C.) Transformers, G.I. Joe, He-Man, even Madballs — are back with serious upgrades. I never thought of myself as big on nostalgia — as much as I loved popular toy lines and comic series, I took the most joy in creating my own characters, but at press time, none of those are available in action-figure form. So this is how I’m reconnecting with the excitement I felt as a wee Jonny A, getting the chance to run through that KayBee Toys once a month. There is something to be said for getting a new figure of an old favorite character. The completist in me is always thrilled to find a figure that I never had as a kid — or maybe it’s my sense of cosmic justice. I always wanted an action figure of Blade, or The Rhino, for example. I always wanted a Juggernaut. (I used to pretend Ram-Man was Juggernaut. Pre-teen ingenuity at its finest.) That kid I used to be, I’m getting those now for him. Honestly, I’ve been already trending towards a major toy habit for a while now, but I think it was the pandemic that seriously goosed my interest in collecting. We can save the pop psychology for another time, or you can feel free to armchair-analyze all you want. Mainly, it’s just fun.
So let’s kick off the column! I’ll do this whenever the mood strikes, and in addition to the notice of a cool new product, you’ll also inevitably get some of my random thoughts about whatever’s on my mind as I’m looking at it.
*I say “technically available” because some of these may be outside of your price range. You’re about to see what I mean.
First up is a doozy:
The “Dirty” Harry Callahan figure from Sideshow Collectibles.
Standing a foot tall, this figure is the spitting image of Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry in his first appearance on film in 1971.
This is what they call 1:6 scale, which is more or less on point (Clint is 6’ 4”). It strikes me as more of a doll than an action figure, meaning it stands about twice the size of most action figures and its clothes are made of fabric. I wouldn’t mind owning a doll — despite my Eastwood fandom, I don’t subscribe to anyone else’s definition of macho — but I guess I would love to have a version of this that would be scaled down to mix with the rest of my collection, my Batmans and my Bruce Lees, just to find out who’s the baddest once and for all.
Still, there’s absolutely no quibbling with the perfection of this object. This is one of the most accurate likenesses I’ve ever seen on an action figure, and they’re getting better and better with those nowadays. As so many figures based on movie and comic properties do, the Dirty Harry figure comes with a plethora of accessories, including multiple sets of hands — two fists made for punchin’ and then a pair of hands crafted to hold both Harry’s signature .44 Magnum and his SFPD badge, which you can make him toss away in disgust for society’s rules.
Ready for the bad news?
This fella is a limited edition, which means you may want to act quickly if you want one, and it’s gonna run you a healthy $275.
Ouch, I know. Sideshow Collectibles must be a cabal of evil geniuses, who can craft something this perfect and show us that it exists and then remind us that so does capitalism. This is probably a little rich for my blood (the most expensive figure I own is probably this Muhammad Ali figure, but man would I love to see him battle Dirty Harry…) but Sideshow does offer layaway plans for those who can’t do the full $275 up front.
I only wish they made a figure of Clint as “The Man With No Name” from the Sergio Leone movies!
Just kidding, they totally do.
Gaze upon his glory…
Clint Eastwood as “The Man With No Name” by Sideshow Collectibles
This figure is based on Clint’s look in THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY in 1966, five years before he went textbook-definition iconic again in DIRTY HARRY.
Accessories include multiple sets of hands for punching and for holding his various weapons, a holster for his pistol, a rifle, and the telltale rock, upon which Blondie writes the name of the grave that is not Arch Stanton’s. You’ve got to weave your own little noose for him to take aim at, I guess.
I mean, I’m kinda speechless. This is very probably one of the best toys I’ve ever seen. Most days this is my favorite movie, and I never dreamed it’d get merchandise. I want this thing pretty bad. I can’t lie to you guys, my readers, my very good friends.
Again, this is a foot tall, sure to tower over all your G.I. Joes, and the price tag again is $275. I venture to say it’s worth it, although again I’d have to personally forgo about two weeks’ worth of lunches to afford it, or in toy terms, nine X-Men and an Optimus Prime. Could happen. May have to happen.
Goddamn!
By the way, are people bumming that I’m still a Clint Eastwood fan? I never know where we’re at. I sporadically see my peers ripping him online for his politics, but to my eyes Clint is a great American artist, who has directed, at the very least, four masterpieces, and I’ve been studying his work, like true scholastic-type studying, for over twenty years now. What’s maybe most intriguing about Clint is that his stated political beliefs don’t always neatly match the values that come through in his art. In fact, sometimes they are in direct opposition. I don’t know if that’s intentional, or subconscious. I do know it confounds me and makes me wonder. I also admit that I miss the time, and maybe it was a more naive time, where I didn’t feel expected to denounce someone just because they are Republican or libertarian (though libertarians are sort of the Scientologists of political persuasions). The chair thing was a bit that obviously bombed, and I’m sure Clint himself gets douchechills from it. A lot of things he says in interviews may not be things I agree with, but they don’t strike me as coming from a place of hate. I don’t know. This is a hard one for me to let go of. And anyway, if it’s what the cognoscenti are determined to do, there are maybe better reasons out there to cancel Clint than politics. But I’ve not yet been able, and I may never. Is it possible that each one of us gets a flier? One quote-unquote problematic artist we are each obliged to continue to reckon with, since giving up entirely on fellow human beings can’t possibly be healthy in practice? Couldn’t we each take on just one uncancellable?
Anyway, here’s a bunch of my writings on Clint’s movies. Read ’em all!
A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS (1964)
THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY (1966)
WHITE HUNTER, BLACK HEART (1990)
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Tags: clint eastwood, Columns, Movies, Sideshow Collectibles, Toys, Westerns
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