Welcome to the Daily Grindhouse Bizarro Oscars! This is our way of celebrating less conventional aspects of popular films, but even better, to spotlight those films we love that most definitely won’t be recognized at the “real” Academy Awards on Sunday night. Here, genre films of every kind are celebrated, and random performances and other aspects that might never otherwise get their spotlight are foregrounded. This one’s for the outsiders and the underdogs.

 

This is the Somethingth Annual Bizarros — an exact “annual” count is dodgy since we skipped a year somewhere in there (although here’s 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, and 2021, for your records). We will keep it up until DC sends a cease-and-desist!

 

The only rule, as ever, is that there are no rules. Everyone who wanted to participate was invited, nobody anywhere was excluded, and everyone voted on the categories they felt like voting on, and if there was any category they felt was missing, they were allowed to add it and name their own winners. The nomination really is the win. (We are also ordering some deeply depressing Bizarro statuettes.)

 

 

If you’d like to participate next year, please drop us a line, and in the meantime, the comments are always open.

 

Here are this year’s voters and where you can find them on social media.

 

JON ABRAMS:

 

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

 

BEE DELORES:

 

PRESTON FASSEL:

 

BRETT GALLMAN:

 

KATELYN NELSON:

 

SAMANTHA SCHORSCH:

 

 

AND THEN… THE YEAR’S AWARD LOSERS!

 

 

BEST END CREDITS SEQUENCE

JON ABRAMS:

Can’t say “Best,” but the one that lived longest in my brain came after THOR: LOVE AND THUNDER, when a character that should have shown up during the movie arrives stupidly late, played by an actor I personally didn’t recognize because I haven’t watched that one TV show he very recently got famous for. I think the idea was for that cameo to be exciting? Is anybody outside of old-school Marvel nerds like me even aware of this character, let alone excited about him?

BEE DELORES:

PEARL

BRETT GALLMAN:

PEARL

SAM SCHORSCH:

BLACK PANTHER: WAKANDA FOREVER

 

 

BEST POST-CREDITS SEQUENCE

 

JON ABRAMS:

Not really a sequence, but I got a kick out of what comes at the end of NOPE.

BRETT GALLMAN:

PIZZA POPPA in MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS

SAM SCHORSCH:

COCAINE BEAR (both of them). If that’s too recent, TERRIFIER 2.

 

BEST LAST SCENE

JON ABRAMS:

DECISION TO LEAVE 🙁

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2022)

BEE DELORES:

WATCHER

PRESTON FASSEL:

PEARL

BRETT GALLMAN:

THE FABELMANS

SAM SCHORSCH:

BLACK PANTHER: WAKANDA FOREVER

 

 

BEST PERFORMANCE IN A NOT-SO-GOOD MOVIE

JON ABRAMS:

Virginia Gardner in FALL (which isn’t a bad movie, just not as great as maybe it could have been).

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

Elsie Fisher in MY BEST FRIEND’S EXORCISM

BEE DELORES:

Sandra Oh in UMMA

PRESTON FASSEL:

Keke Palmer in NOPE

BRETT GALLMAN:

Guy Pearce in MEMORY

SAM SCHORSCH:

Mia Goth in PEARL

 

 

BEST FOREIGN HORROR

KATELYN NELSON:

INCANTATION (China)

JON ABRAMS:

SALOUM (Senegal/ France)

 

 

BEST MOVIE YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T SEE

JON ABRAMS:

THE KINGS OF THE WORLD (d: Laura Mora; Colombia)

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

BONES AND ALL

BEE DELORES:

PIGGY

BRETT GALLMAN:

AMBULANCE, SOMETHING IN THE DIRT, NO EXIT 

KATELYN NELSON:

THE HOUSE

SAM SCHORSCH:

THE BANSHEES OF INISHERIN

 

BEST SCORE

JON ABRAMS:

PRETTIEST MOVIE

JON ABRAMS:

NEPTUNE FROST. If not that, then NOPE. Which isn’t even nominated at the Oscars. Which is preposterous. I’m used to amazing beautiful creative work like NEPTUNE FROST being overlooked by the Oscars, but NOPE?!?

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

THE PALE BLUE EYE

BEE DELORES:

PEARL

PRESTON FASSEL:

PEARL

BRETT GALLMAN:

PEARL

SAM SCHORSCH:

MAD GOD

 

BEST “BAD” MOVIE

JON ABRAMS:

MOONFALL by a light year. But I’m not so sure it’s a bad movie. It may be a masterpiece from some alternate dimension.

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE

BEE DELORES:

DON’T WORRY DARLING

KATELYN NELSON:

ORPHAN: FIRST KILL

SAM SCHORSCH:

HALLOWEEN ENDS. Fight me.

 

BEST VILLAIN

JON ABRAMS:

This has gotta be the Predator in PREY. Great monster acting by Dane DiLiegro. Also was impressed with James Jude Courtney as Michael Myers and Mark Burnham as Leatherface, though I liked those movies less. Overall I’m pretty excited about monster acting lately, although I would love to see some new, unique monster characters for these guys to play.

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

Art The Clown in TERRIFIER 2!

BEE DELORES:

Mother in BARBARIAN

PRESTON FASSEL:

Pearl in PEARL

BRETT GALLMAN:

Paul Dano in THE BATMAN (honorable mention: The Moon in MOONFALL)

SAM SCHORSCH:

Art The Clown in TERRIFIER 2

 

BEST EVIL HENCHMAN

JON ABRAMS:

Poco The Killer Clown, as much as he counts as a henchman. Sort of a wild card, that Poco.

PRESTON FASSEL:

Chef Katherine in THE MENU

BRETT GALLMAN:

The Cenobites in HELLRAISER

KATELYN NELSON:

Chef Katherine in THE MENU

SAM SCHORSCH:

The Little Girl Clown in TERRIFIER 2

 

 

MOST PUNCHABLE CHARACTER

KATELYN NELSON:

Tyler (Nicholas Hoult), THE MENU

JON ABRAMS:

Dr. Michael Morbius, MORBIUS, but only as played by Jared Leto. In the comics he’s whatever.

 

 

BEST HORROR-MOVIE MASK

JON ABRAMS:

Ghostface in SCREAM (5). At press time, we are six movies in. The mask is familiar by now but it remains clever and innovative to have used Edvard Munich’s “The Scream” for a slasher-movie mask. (Via Wikipedia: “ It was created by Brigitte Sleiertin of the Fun World costume company for the Halloween market, prior to being discovered by Marianne Maddalena and Wes Craven for the film [SCREAM (1996)].”)

PRESTON FASSEL:

HALLOWEEN ENDS

BRETT GALLMAN:

A WOUNDED FAWN

SAM SCHORSCH:

Any of the Cenobites in HELLRAISER (2022)

 

BEST GIANT MONSTER

JON ABRAMS:

Not kaiju-size maybe, but Chris Pontius’ dick does a pretty decent Godzilla impression wrecking a studio backlot in JACKASS FOREVER.

PRESTON FASSEL:

Jean Jacket in NOPE

BRETT GALLMAN:

Chris Pontius’s hog in JACKASS FOREVER

KATELYN NELSON:

Jean Jacket in NOPE

SAM SCHORSCH:

Ted the Man-Thing in WEREWOLF BY NIGHT

 

BEST UNFRIENDLY ALIEN

JON ABRAMS:

The Alien from ALIENOID

 

BEST WEREWOLF

JON ABRAMS:

This is not a movie about werewolves. I want you all to know that I watched the entire movie waiting for werewolves to show up. I just need you to remember that, the next time somebody says I am smart.

BRETT GALLMAN:

WEREWOLF BY NIGHT

KATELYN NELSON:

WEREWOLF BY NIGHT

SAM SCHORSCH:

Jack Russell (Gael García Bernal) in WEREWOLF BY NIGHT

 

 

BEST VAMPIRE

 

 

BEST VAMPIRE HUNTER

 

JON ABRAMS:

obviously it’s Snoop (in DAY SHIFT).

 

 

BEST SKELETON

JON ABRAMS:

Zombie Doctor Strange. Shame about the PG and the Disney of it all, but this is the closest to a Sam Raimi EVIL DEAD 4 we’re ever gonna get, so I savored the moment

SAM SCHORSCH:

The skeletons that keep beating me up in Elden Ring

 

BEST SUPERHERO COSTUME

JON ABRAMS:

Didn’t love the movie, but probably will need to go with Thor’s “Jack Burton” outfit because anything BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA is gonna win out in my eyes.

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

Robert Pattison’s suit in THE BATMAN

BRETT GALLMAN:

Jane Foster, THOR: LOVE & THUNDER

SAM SCHORSCH:

Namor, BLACK PANTHER: WAKANDA FOREVER

 

BEST CHARACTER ACTOR

JON ABRAMS:

Michael Wincott, NOPE. It was so great to see him again and he’s so great in the movie that I keep forgetting Keith David, maybe my all-time favorite genre character actor, is in this movie too.

PRESTON FASSEL:

Mia Goth, X and PEARL

BRETT GALLMAN:

Garret Dillahunt, AMBULANCE

KATELYN NELSON:

Daniel Craig, GLASS ONION

SAM SCHORSCH:

Colin Farrell in THE BATMAN. If I hadn’t been told in advance, I never would have known it was him playing The Penguin. Complete transformation.

 

BEST EXTRA

JON ABRAMS:

Rintrah from DOCTOR STRANGE. I struggle to understand how a green minotaur gets so little screen time, but as a cameo character, pretty special. I did not expect that voice to come out of that creature.

SAM SCHORSCH:

The Trophy Guy, EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE. How he kept a straight face, pretending to have a giant trophy in his rear during a fight scene, must have taken hundreds of takes.

 

 

BEST DESERVES-HER-OWN-MOVIE CHARACTER

 

JON ABRAMS:

Janelle Monáe, GLASS ONION. More the actor than the character. The movie is just fine, but she’s amazing. I still think she should have been cast as Doctor Strange. Imagine Janelle Monáe doing a zombie persona in a Doctor Strange movie!

BEE DELORES:

Joy (Stephanie Hsu), EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE

PRESTON FASSEL:

Bobby-Lynne (Brittany Snow), X

BRETT GALLMAN:

Sandra (Emily Sweet), V/H/S/99

KATELYN NELSON:

Bobby-Lynne (Brittany Snow), X

SAM SCHORSCH:

Joy/Jobu (Stephanie Hsu), EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE. I want to see who she is beyond the events of the film, what her future looks like, her own weird googly eyes adventures.

 

 

MOST ASS-KICKING SHITKICKERS IN ONE PLACE

 

JON ABRAMS:

ACCIDENT MAN: HITMAN’S HOLIDAY.

PRESTON FASSEL:

The end sequence of SCREAM.

BRETT GALLMAN:

DAY SHIFT

SAM SCHORSCH:

THE BATMAN

 

 

BEST CATCHPHRASE, OR BEST OUGHT-TO-BE-A-CATCHPHRASE

 

BEE DELORES:

Tara Carpenter (Jenna Ortega): “I still prefer the Babadook,” SCREAM.

BRETT GALLMAN:

“Ho ho holy shit!” (VIOLENT NIGHT)

SAM SCHORSCH:

“Keep doing weird things,” EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE

 

 

BEST LINE, IN CONTEXT

 

JON ABRAMS:

Reporter (Mary Birdsong): “Mr. Beavis! Mr. Boothroyd!” (BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD DO THE UNIVERSE)

PRESTON FASSEL:

Tara Carpenter (Jenna Ortega): “I still prefer the Babadook,” SCREAM

BRETT GALLMAN:

“We don’t stop,” AMBULANCE

SAM SCHORSCH:

“Thumb drive,” THE BATMAN

 

 

BEST LINE IN OR OUT OF CONTEXT

 

JON ABRAMS:

Colm Doherty (Brendan Gleeson): “If punching a policeman is a sin, we may as well just pack up and go home.” (from THE BANSHEES OF INISHERIN)

PRESTON FASSEL:

Maxine (Mia Goth): “I refuse to accept a life I do not deserve.” (X)

BRETT GALLMAN:

“He’s white?!” (ELVIS)

SAM SCHORSCH:

“No! It’s just dumb!” (GLASS ONION)

 

 

BEST NICOLAS CAGE MOVIE

JON ABRAMS:

There was only really THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT to compete in 2022. Not like 2018 or 2019, when we had six to choose from, or even 2021, when we had three. Let’s hope for more Nic Cage movies in 2023.

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT

BRETT GALLMAN:

THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT

SAM SCHORSCH:

THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT

 

 

BEST STUNT SEQUENCE

 

JON ABRAMS:

Johnny Knoxville spends a couple seconds with a bull in JACKASS FOREVER. Occasionally over the years I had the suspicion that Knoxville was sometimes farming out the gnarliest gags to, say, Steve-O or Danger Ehren, so he could play more of a ringmaster role, but that’s not accurate. Here’s proof. My man gets in the ring! With love, though, please retire now. Please go play a Batman villain now or something.

PRESTON FASSEL:

Jean Jacket’s final attack in NOPE.

BRETT GALLMAN:

TOP GUN: MAVERICK

SAM SCHORSCH:

Every stunt sequence in RRR is tied for this.

 

BEST FIGHT

JON ABRAMS:

Andreas Nguyen (Andy Long) as Oyumi versus Scott Adkins in ACCIDENT MAN 2. Now this is fast and furious. Favorite part is where the bad guy steals the hero’s trademark jacket mid-fracas to try it on.

BEE DELORES:

The fanny pack action scene from EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE

PRESTON FASSEL:

Sidney, Gail, Tara, and Sam vs. The Ghostfaces, SCREAM

BRETT GALLMAN:

THE NORTHMAN, when those bad motherfuckers fought on the rim of a volcano.

SAM SCHORSCH:

The final duel in THE NORTHMAN.

 

 

BEST CAR

 

PRESTON FASSEL:

The “Plowing Service” Van, X

BRETT GALLMAN:

BLOOD RELATIVES

SAM SCHORSCH:

Batman’s motorcycle, THE BATMAN. I want it. I want two.

 

 

BEST CAR CHASE

JON ABRAMS:

Pretty much all of AMBULANCE.

PRESTON FASSEL:

Emerald vs Jean Jacket, NOPE

BRETT GALLMAN:

AMBULANCE

SAM SCHORSCH:

THE BATMAN

 

 

BEST DOG

 

JON ABRAMS:

Coco the American Dingo as Sarii in PREY.

BRETT GALLMAN:

PREY

SAM SCHORSCH:

The sheepdog from THE BANSHEES OF INISHERIN.

 

 

BEST ANIMAL PERFORMANCE BY AN ANIMAL ACTOR

 

JON ABRAMS:

Again, Coco. It’s a sweep! (From me.) And of course, Jenny the Donkey from THE BANSHEES OF INISHERIN.

BRETT GALLMAN:

Jenny the Donkey in BANSHEES OF INISHERIN

SAM SCHORSCH:

The raccoon in EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE

 

 

BEST WORST MOVIE

 

JON ABRAMS:

A lot of people led me to me expect that BABYLON was gonna be bad, but no prestige picture that pretty much opens up on a close-up of an elephant sphincter unloading a massive dump can be wrong. (Talk about an animal performance, by the way — that guy can poop on command! Wow!)

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

CHOOSE OR DIE

BEE DELORES:

SPEAK NO EVIL

PRESTON FASSEL:

SMILE

SAM SCHORSCH:

MORBIUS

 

 

WORST BEST MOVIE

 

JON ABRAMS:

TOP GUN: MAVERICK. It’s all well and good to have fun with the airplane movie. But the resurgence of Tom Cruise worship is bad for the world and probably won’t end well. Feel free to mark my words here.

PRESTON FASSEL:

NOPE

SAM SCHORSCH:

AVATAR 2

 

 

BEST HERO MOMENT

 

JON ABRAMS:

Laurie Strode versus Michael Myers, hopefully for the last time. The new trilogy has flaws, but I wanted a victory for this character and I wanted her to find peace, and I hope … I hope … look, guess I’m trying to say I hope evil died tonight.

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

In FRESH when Noa, Penny, and Mollie team up together to attack Steve!

BEE DELORES:

Sienna decapitating Art The Clown in TERRIFIER 2

PRESTON FASSEL:

Emerald releasing the balloon into Jean Jacket, NOPE

BRETT GALLMAN:

NOPE

SAM SCHORSCH:

Waymond Wang (Ke Huy Quan) and his fanny pack nunchucks

 

 

BEST “FUCK YOU” MOMENT

 

JON ABRAMS:

Burning the Mona Lisa, in GLASS ONION

 

GREATEST DEATH

 

BEST OPENING SCENE

 

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

CRIMES OF THE FUTURE

PRESTON FASSEL:

NOPE

BRETT GALLMAN:

ELVIS (opening montage)

SAM SCHORSCH:

GLASS ONION

 

BEST OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE

 

JON ABRAMS:

HALLOWEEN ENDS. Again, less “Best” than “living in my head.” I am still trying to figure out why they used the HALLOWEEN III font for this one. If anyone has the answer, please write me a letter at Daily Grindhouse Headquarters.

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

TERRIFIER 2

PRESTON FASSEL:

WE’RE ALL GOING TO THE WORLD’S FAIR

BRETT GALLMAN:

JACKASS FOREVER

SAM SCHORSCH:

WEREWOLF BY NIGHT

 

 

 

BIZARRO OSCARS: STILL-KINDA-A-PANDEMIC EDITION!

 

ARE YOU BACK TO THEATERS REGULARLY? IF SO, WHAT MOVIE BROUGHT YOU BACK?

 

JON ABRAMS:

After four decades of me being her brother, my sister has finally gotten interested in horror movies, so we saw HALLOWEEN ENDS, PREY FOR THE DEVIL, and M3GAN together over the past months. Some better than others, but that’s not really the point.

BEE DELORES:

I’ve been back to the theater for awhile now, but I often still wear my mask if it’s crowded. BODIES BODIES BODIES was the best big-screen experience of the year.

PRESTON FASSEL:

Yep. It was SCREAM. I had to have my wife’s car worked on and the mechanic is across the street from a movie theater. I enjoyed it so much, it got me excited about going back again. Plus, weekday matinees are deserted. Best experience? A tie between seeing PEARL was an excellently programmed pre-show at the Alamo Drafthouse for my birthday and watching SMILE with an audience comprised entirely of odorously stoned college kids.

SAM SCHORSCH:

Semi-regularly. I had to go see JACKASS FOREVER in February of 2022 in a theater full of people for maximum 14 again fun times. I regret nothing.

 

 

AND WHAT WAS YOUR BEST BIG-SCREEN EXPERIENCE OF THE YEAR? (NEW RELEASE OR
REPERTORY OR BOTH.)

 

JON ABRAMS:

THREE THOUSAND YEARS OF LONGING. Sadly I was the only one in the theater, but everyone else was missing out. If only for the bizarre creatures in the Queen of Sheba story, it would’ve been worth it. But come on, nobody should have to work this hard to get you to check out a new George Miller picture.

BRETT GALLMAN:

Seeing STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE & THE WRATH OF KHAN on the big screen.

SAM SCHORSCH:

It was crazy watching THE SADNESS in a packed theater. When the verbal warning to leave or not came, it felt like playing a game of chicken with hundreds of people, and I don’t know if I’d have made it through that film without the shared experience of those same people. It reminded me that audiences can be integral to how a film is experienced and digested as a whole.

 

 

WHAT STREAMING RELEASE DO YOU WISH YOU COULD’VE SEEN ON THE BIG SCREEN
WITH AN AUDIENCE?

 

JON ABRAMS:

KIMI. Soderbergh in full crowdpleaser mode. Saw it with my aunt and my uncle and my mom and we all dug it so much (except my mom, who dozed off).

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

FRESH!

BEE DELORES:

TERRIFIER 2

PRESTON FASSEL:

WE’RE ALL GOING TO THE WORLDS’ FAIR

BRETT GALLMAN:

KIMI.

SAM SCHORSCH:

PREY. Not having a PREDATOR film on the big screen is a travesty, especially the best one in years.

 

 

WAS THERE ANY STUDIO FEATURE YOU FELT ACTUALLY BENEFITTED FROM WATCHING AT HOME?

 

JON ABRAMS:

KIMI. I mean, agoraphobia is baked into the premise, so it works either way.

BEE DELORES:

HALLOWEEN ENDS

SAM SCHORSCH:

YOU WON’T BE ALONE. It’s such a beautifully quiet, introspective film that I can’t imagine seeing it in a setting where there’s the potential for other people talking, texting, or chewing loudly. It would kill the entire mood.

 

 

DID YOU HAVE A GO-TO 2022 SUB-GENRE? i.e. contagion horror, zombie-apocalypse, etc.

 

JON ABRAMS:

Shark movies, again. In 2022 I watched SHARK BAIT, BULL SHARK, SHARK SIDE OF THE MOON, BLOOD IN THE WATER, MANEATER, THE REEF: STALKED, THE REQUIN, SHARKULA, BLOOD BITE, and (mini-spoiler) SIGNIFICANT OTHER. Also CROC! and BEAST, although those are other killer animal movies. Please also note I have seen a full 1 out of 10 nominees for Best Picture at this year’s Oscars.

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

Cyberpunk and body horror!

BEE DELORES:

My go-to subgenre is probably psychological thriller and slashers.

SAM SCHORSCH:

Found footage. So much of it is free and direct to streaming and while there is a lot of crap, there are also gems like HELL HOUSE LLC and the remaster of THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK that never got full-on theatrical releases or much hype behind them at all.

 

 

WHAT ONE 2022 TV SERIES DID YOU MOST ENJOY BINGE-WATCHING?

JON ABRAMS:

The only show I made it all the way through was PEACEMAKER, so I guess it’d have to be that. I dug the pilot for TOKYO VICE because of the Michael Mann of it all, but in the end I couldn’t navigate around that Hansel kid so I bailed. And I got excited about MOON KNIGHT, but yeesh. So anyway, PEACEMAKER.

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

The Sandman.

BEE DELORES:

Wednesday

PRESTON FASSEL:

Darcie & Stacy

SAM SCHORSCH:

Harley Quinn Season 3

 

SAME QUESTION AS ABOVE, BUT WHAT NON-2022 TV SHOW SAVED YOUR YEAR?

JON ABRAMS:

Hap & Leonard. Did a rewatch before Netflix got rid of it. Netflix sucks, man.

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

The Twilight Zone – always!

PRESTON FASSEL:

WKRP In Cinncinnati

BRETT GALLMAN:

MST3K

SAM SCHORSCH:

I got embarrassingly into Forged in Fire. Swords are rad.

 

 

WHICH MOVIE STAR WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO GO BACK TO QUARANTINE WITH, AND WHY?

JON ABRAMS:

Coco the dog from PREY. Or actually, any dog.

PRESTON FASSEL:

Julianne Moore.

SAM SCHORSCH:

Keanu Reeves. I just want to hang out and spar and hear him talk about life. He seems like such a genuine guy, and every time he gives interviews, this font of depth and perspective comes out. Incredible person and talent.

 

WHAT MOVIE GAVE YOU HOPE FOR THE FUTURE IN 2022?

JON ABRAMS:

MAD GOD and NEPTUNE FROST.

BEE DELORES:

X, for making new original slashers cool again.

PRESTON FASSEL:

PEARL

BRETT GALLMAN:

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE

SAM SCHORSCH:

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE. I’ve never seen anything like it, and I hope it gives room and inspiration for so many more films and artists to go where we’ve never even thought of being.

 

WRAPPING IT UP…

 

 

WHICH SONGS SAVED YOUR LIFE IN 2022? BONUS POINTS IF IT CAME FROM A MOVIE SOUNDTRACK.

 

JON ABRAMS:

Ghost — Darkness At The Heart Of My Love

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

Blood Orange — You’re Not Good Enough, off the Fresh soundtrack. Can you tell I loved Fresh?

SAM SCHORSCH:

My Chemical Romance – The Foundations of Decay

Get up, coward!

 

WHICH BELOVED CELEBRITY WE LOST IN 2022 WOULD YOU CHEER FOR LOUDEST DURING THE BIZARRO IN MEMORIAM TRIBUTE? AND WHY?

JON ABRAMS:

I like to think I would applaud for everyone equally, but going with the conceit of my own question, let’s go with (off the top of my head) James Caan, Gilbert Gottfried, Ray Liotta, Paul Sorvino, Albert Pyun, and Henry Silva. For a comprehensive tribute to the people we lost in 2022, please check out this thing I did.

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

Leslie Jordan. An absolute gem of a human being who kicked ass in everything he did, but especially in American Horror Story.

BRETT GALLMAN:

Ivan Reitman, because of GHOSTBUSTERS and MEATBALLS.

 

AS ALWAYS, WHAT CATEGORY SHOULD THE REAL OSCARS HAVE THAT THEY DON’T?

 

JON ABRAMS:

Normally this is where I say “Best Stunt Sequence,” but look at this amazing feature from Bilge Ebiri and Brandon Streussnig for New York Magazine’s Vulture. They did it! They finally really did it! Those maniacs!

So yeah, I’ll say “Best Animal Performance By An Animal Actor.” Also: The Oscars really should be giving James Hong his Lifetime Achievement Oscar this year.

ALEXIS DEN BOGGENDE:

Best Horror Feature!

BEE DELORES:

Best Horror Movie.

BRETT GALLMAN:

Best Stunt.

SAM SCHORSCH:

Best Stunt Team or Performer and Best Stunt Coordinator. Both are equally vital in film and coordinators have a hell of a job dealing with fight blocking and safety.

 

 

WHAT CATEGORY IS THIS LIST MISSING, AND WHO SHOULD WIN?

 

SAM SCHORSCH:

Future Cult Classic: THE SADNESS. That thing is going to be up there with MARTYRS and AUDITION in the annals of fucked-up, brilliant films that people dare each other to watch at sleepovers.

 

BRETT GALLMAN:

 

Best Biopic: WEIRD: THE AL YANKOVIC STORY

Best Comeback: BEAVIS & BUTTHEAD DO THE UNIVERSE 

Best Cheeseburger: THE MENU

Best Use of Chainsaw During a Massacre in Texas: Leatherface on the bus (in TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE)

Still King of the World Award: James Cameron (AVATAR: THE WAY OF WATER)

 

JON ABRAMS:

Since the whole point of us doing this Bizarro Oscars thing is to spotlight movies and creative people who might not otherwise get recognized, I would have to say “Movies I Couldn’t Figure Out How To Include In Any Of The Above Categories,” just so there would be more room for me to talk about Tang Wei and DECISION TO LEAVE, to name a major example for me. Also, I love Sam’s category idea up there, so my Future Cult Classic is MOONFALL. Bet on it.

 

 

 

 

SEE YOU LAST YEAR! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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